Court Complaint Log #447
Filed under: Excessive Royal Affection
Status: Unresolved (Likely Permanent)
Complaint 1:
The King kissed my helmet. It was unexpected. I am changed.
Complaint 2:
The King greeted me four times in one morning. I was greeted as if it were the first.
Complaint 3:
The King followed me home. Sat with my family. Left only after everyone was kissed.
Complaint 4:
The King will not stay on the throne.
Royal Response (dictated, not written):
“Oh! You’re here!”
Final Note by the Court:
The complaints continue.
Morale is dangerously high.
No further action is advised.